A Time For Imaginary Phonecalls

It's your first job after getting your first university-stamped scroll. Here's a quick tip: Skip the pity parties.

When a group of your colleagues gather round to moan about how their heads aren't doing anything, say you've got a tummy ache. Better to off-load undigested food than download problem-centric conversation.

If the conversation turns to how the system isn't working, give it a few moments, move your eyeballs upwards and suddenly exclaim that you've got to finish a report that's urgently due. I guarantee you won't miss anything worthwhile. Even if anything as glorious as a solution is hinted at, chances are no one in the group will follow-up.

Upon the third mention of helplessness and hopelessness in as many minutes (usually because of how weak someone not in the group is), pick up your handphone, make an imaginary phonecall and - because you don't wish to be rude - walk away.

You've got a job. Don't waste your time on talk which gets you nowhere fast.

Avoid the crap circles like the plague. Do it in your first year of work and you won't regret it when you reach your thirtieth.